It is normal for humans to want validations from other people. Wanting to feel accepted, included, and special. The validation we want and receive from those we want to impress, makes us do crazy and other worldly things to get/keep their attention. We become the kind of person they want us to be… that we forget how to love ourselves. We would much rather mold into a “character” that is pleasing to people than accept who we are. Slowly but surely, we conform and assimilate the personalities they have into our identities. We become almost unrecognizable in the end. No no no. Stop seeking validations from those who are overly critical and/or those who are not at the same level as ourselves.
When I say the same level, I am not insinuating or implying that we’re better than other people. No. I am simply stating that we should not seek validations from those who are jealous of us. Mentally, they are not at the same level because they are envious about what we’re doing or got going on. They would rather see us fail than win. So in that aspect, their jealousy will make them say almost anything to knock us off our path. Then when we conclude that their opinions have weight to them, we become self conscious and preoccupied with wanting to please them. NO. You’re doing good my friend. Do not let anyone make you think otherwise because they do not approve of your dreams or are jealous with how far you’ve come.
In 2020, I wrote about leaving behind those who invalidate our feelings. Trying to impress them is a long shot because they couldn’t care less about what we’re doing. When they shun us from expressing our frustrations and/or worries, they don’t care enough to listen to what is bothering us. Fighting for their attention and acknowledgement is a dead end. So why do we STILL care about their approval? I guess it’s a flaw that we have as humans. We work harder to be recognized, even when it means we have to disrespect ourselves in the process. We do things that we have no business doing in the hopes of others seeing how desperate we care for their support. It’s all about self-respect.
Self Respect
Self Respect is about knowing our worth and only accepting the very best. We are not settling for less and we will not allow anyone to make us feel like we’re “doing too much.” People only feel like that when they can not or do not want to meet our expectations. They expect us to lower our standards. No. Keep up or move around. Simple. With self respect, we do not need the validations of others because we know what we expect from ourselves. We know our strengths and weaknesses. We know what we bring to the table. Yes, your opinion may be considered but that does not mean I will implement them in whatever task I’m working on. Heck, I might even forget it. If I know I’m more than qualified to do my work, I don’t need the confirmation of others to give me the go ahead.
Criticism
Criticism is hard to take. Especially if we’ve been criticized all our lives and/or people with no credibility are trying to tell us what we should do. Sometimes constructive criticism is necessary so that we are not being reckless in our decision making. But constructive criticism must come from those who have experience or are wise enough to point out issues that are fixable. Not from someone who is ignorantly speaking just because they have a mouth. So when we want someone to analyze our work or give us feedback about a particular issue, we may ask God, our parents, experts in our field of work, etc. Heck, a stranger might do because they are more likely to be unbiased because they don’t know well us enough to lie. It all depends on the circumstances.
But their explanations must make sense and include solutions to what they think can help us improve in an area. (With the exception of God. We must pray for discernment if we are looking for His approval/input about something. Check out Gut Instinct for more on this). Bottom line – criticism is only helpful if it is suggested appropriately and relevant to what is at hand.
Conclusion
My friends, do not let the validations, or lack thereof, make you feel unworthy to be your unique self! Do not let your satisfaction be dependent on those who simply do not matter. We never know who is waiting for us to fail. When we ask for their input, we are giving them easy access to disrupt our lives because they WILL make rash comments about what they THINK we’re doing wrong. Be mindful but at the same time, love yourself enough to know that you are enough! When that is established, there is nothing in the world anyone can say or do to make us feel uncomfortable with ourselves. Our Insecurities will be a thing of the past. The validation you need is yours. Facts. Point blank period.
Thank you for checking out this blog. God bless. You may leave questions, comments and/or suggestions if you so choose.
