“Communication is key.” Or so they say. However, I do agree communication is essential for a common understanding between two parties but there’s more to it than just interaction. If the communication is partial and one sided, then that defeats the purpose. Anyone can communicate if they really wanted to but the key here is reciprocation. Openness can also be added to the equation. If openness and honesty are not reciprocated on both ends, one party will leave unfulfilled. Issues that were supposed to be hashed out and remedied, were never brought up because of someone’s incapability of seeing eye to eye. Reciprocation means that whatever that was said, was expressed appropriately and received in its entirety. No lingering thoughts.
Delivery
Communication can be stringent at times. Or it can flow smoothly. When one party is urgently and aggressively trying for the other party to understand what they’re saying, it can be overwhelming to whoever is listening. The delivery of the message is diminished because the presentation was rude. If the presentation was brought upon the listener respectfully, the overall message has a higher chance of it being received than not. The delivery is everything. Especially if the message is important.
We want to make sure that we are not letting our emotions get us out of character. If we appear to be calm about the situation, that signals to the other person that there is no reason to be tense. If the individual has a bad attitude from the start and they’re accusing and throwing insults left and right, the listener is already on defense mode and they will also let their words fly without a second thought because now they are angry. Hopefully people are good at reading body language and if they are, they adjust appropriately – depending on well they are able to read the room. If the demeanor of the person who wants to talk appears to be cool, calm and collected, that signals to the listener that they can ease up and let their guards down.
Furthermore, communication, openness, body language and reciprocation are equally as significant to get our message received in its complete form. But there are two things that I really do not understand… People who try to break big news to people via text/social media and when people try to force us to understand what they’re saying when they are not making the least bit of sense.
For example, let’s take a break up or divorce, in relation to breaking big news via social media. The delivery is beyond disrespectful because now everyone who is following that person are aware that he or she is single because they publicly announced it on their page – when that could’ve been done privately. And of course, the message isn’t a pleasant one. The world does need to know that the relationship/marriage is over. I don’t know if the person is purposely doing that to inform potential soon to be partners that they are available and they can make their moves now. Or they want attention because they know people would be in their business, trying to find out why happened between them and so and so. Hey, to each their own. But the lack of regard for the other person’s feelings is telling.
Especially if there was/is history involved (being together for several years and/or having kids). It’s puzzling to think that some people would much rather break up with someone indirectly instead of face to face and allow strangers/acquaintances to find out at the same time as their soon to be former partners. Yes, maybe the news will be too much to say in person but at the same time, we owe it to the people who meant something to us. Instead of trying to protect our feelings, we must acknowledge how and what the other person is feeling. It’s only right.
And going back to people who want us to complete their thoughts as if we can read minds …. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE. It’s amazing how upset people can get if we have no idea what they’re saying. The person only gives bits and pieces and expects us to fill in the blanks and if we do not, it is our fault for not trying and/or understanding where they are coming from. These types of people make communication so complicated for no apparent reason. And as a result, we may try to avoid people like that because a coherent conversation is extremely hard to come by with them. We leave the situation feeling stupid because of the individual’s unwillingness to accurately communicate their feelings/troubles.
Irregularities
Communicating effectively and respectfully is one way of showing Love. We try to make things work with our significant other by putting effort into interacting with them. This also goes hand in hand with Consistency and Inconsistency. Inconsistent behaviors are not signs of love because it leaves the parties involved wondering where they stand in the lives of those who are displaying those conflicting behaviors.
“We all make time for the ones we want to make time for.” That is a fact. Do not become oblivious or ignore signs that points to irregularities. Irregularities can be found in communication, expressing love, demeanor, reciprocation and openness. If there is a consistent decline, something is wrong. If some days, our partner is showering us with attention/love and there are other times they are distant and closed off, we must be aware of these irregularities. It’s up to us to read the situation in order to determine what the issues are. Having a serious one on one sit down conversation might do the trick. But only if the other party is receptive to it. If they are detached and not engaged, the purpose is defeated. It doesn’t make sense to continue the conversation if the other person is hardly trying to fix the issues that are present in the relationship. Transparency is absolutely needed. And even then, if the person is showing signs of not wanting to be in a relationship anymore, maybe we should reevaluate why we are still sticking around.
Conclusion
To conclude, we have to make it a habit to speak about our feelings to people who are important to us. Discussing issues that are bothering us is a must to clear the air. But we must do it respectfully. Acting out or angrily getting our point across, can make the other person become defensive and/or shut down. Delivery! It has to be tip top. That is how we get people to listen.
Thank you for checking out this blog. You may leave questions, comments and/or suggestions if you so choose. God bless.
