How do we know when someone is being genuine or deceptive? What are the clues in figuring out someone’s authenticity or deceitfulness? Because let’s be truthful – they both look mighty attractive on the surface. On the surface, we believe words, followed by actions. When the person successfully holds up their end of their promise, we believe them to be genuine. Or if the person semi completes what they started, we believe them to be semi genuine. However, deception is clever. People who are deceptive must also pull through on their promises – in order to gain our trust. Let’s try to distinguish between the two. I will do my best to coherently explain how to discern between the two. (P.S. these are just my thoughts).
If you haven’t already, my blog Friends/Acquaintances, talks about friends who we know to be genuine and friends who are iffy and/or not so genuine. That topic is a great segment into this blog, in order to get a better understanding on what signs constitutes as “real” or “fake” friends. Furthermore, let’s get into it!
We hope to come across genuine people in our lives. It is only right that we want people in our corners who have our best interest at heart. Having people who are consistently showing us that they have our backs, will make us believe that they’re sincere. On the other hand, deceiving people have a way with words. Their deception is disguised with nice colors and rainbows. They know how to make us believe that they’re trustworthy and they only want what is best for us. But how can we know for sure?
Well to start off, people show their true colors when they are angry. (This example is based off of personal relationships). People tend to show their true colors when they are or feel guilty about something. If we are sharing secrets/desires with someone close to us, just to have those secrets/desires revealed to another party – that is not a genuine person. Especially if there was an argument that took place earlier and they are actively telling others our business because they were feeling some type of way.
Like… what?
They didn’t respect us enough to keep our business private and on the low. Or let’s say an argument is taking place and they blurt out our insecurities/past mistakes to use as leverage – just to show us they can do damage to our name and/or reputation if they really wanted to.
Honestly, if we’re having an argument, it should be solely based on what we’re arguing about. Including irrelevant information that has nothing to do with the argument, is a clear indication that there is something brewing underneath the surface. What was the point of bringing up something so confidential if it was not meant to be used against me? We should be cautious about who we tell our past mistakes/secrets to. Now, if the person is authentic, the argument wouldn’t include such information because there would be no point in doing so. Yes, the argument could be nasty…. but what they say, shouldn’t make us question their motives.
People who are deceptive, are always looking for ways to get the upper hand. They are also very manipulative. They have a way of making us think that we’re in the wrong if we inquire about their scheming plans. People who are deceptive always paint a pretty picture about a particular project or situation. Then when we bite on the bait, we find out we’re in for a rude awakening. They will NEVER be upfront about their plans in its complete form. They’ll tell us little snippets of it….. Entice us enough to make us consider joining in with them and/or believing that they’re a reputable person. They’ll tell us all the good parts about the plan. Sure, they tell us if we do this and that, we’ll make money and/or get ahead! But they purposely leave out the part where their method in obtaining the money/getting ahead is illegal and morally wrong. We normally find out after they disappear without a trace and we’re left dealing with the law by ourselves or we are left with a guilty conscience. Sounds familiar?
Deception, in its execution, has a chance to be successful. Let’s take a job for an example. They tell us all the big things we can do within our department and/or company. The commission, benefits, stocks, longevity, etc. They all sound too good to be true. More often than not – IT IS. They’ll make us believe that by refusing their offer, we’re making the biggest mistake of our lives. We will not be able to find anything better or close to their offer any place else.
Deceptive people have a sense of urgency to them. It’s like the offer is only good for a certain amount of time. Or that they have people waiting to be put in that same position but they so gracefully offered the spot to us. The time to think about it is limited and the decision to act is instant. Be careful about job offers like that! If they get impatient or get apprehensive by us asking the tough questions, in regard to the job position, the offer is fraudulent. (I SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE).
Deception can be found amongst our friends as well. They’ll want to share their exciting news about how they made this much money in this amount of time. We’re listening and we cannot believe how they’re doing so well. Then, they offer to introduce us to so and so in order to get the ball rolling. After that, our gut is telling us…. Hmmm… Are you sure about this? Anything that sounds too good to be true – it is. (Just like how a man or woman is single and it’s a complete shocker. People are trying to find out why. This man or woman seems to be the complete package – good looking, good job, smart, kind, ambitious, etc. It makes us wonder…. ) Anyways. Deception, it’s everywhere. There is always a catch. The devil is a liar. He is. He will use people to try to entice us into going down a dark road that is painted over with bright, nice colors.
Having discernment (a gift from God) is highly essential in figuring out who is genuine or deceptive. Also when it comes to job offers that pays well, DO NOT be afraid to ask the tough questions. Do not be intimidated by the interviewer because of your desire to obtain that job position. You shouldn’t sell yourself short! We have to make sure that everything is legitimate before we agree to anything. Gut Instinct are meant to be taken seriously. It’s a warning from God. (Check out God’s Existence for insight about how He gets our attention). Ignoring that warning, may cost us dearly. Again, I speak from experience.
Genuine people are welcoming assets to our lives. Not only are they not looking for a come up, they are upfront about everything. Honestly, genuine people will never attempt to get us caught up with anything illegal, sketchy and/or dangerous because our safety matters to them. That will automatically take away from their authenticity, if they were to involve us in something so scandalous. That is fake if our “friends” or colleagues are trying to involve us in some mess while withholding valuable information at the same time. Consistency and Inconsistency will be determining factors whether to trust someone or not. People that are sketchy will hold our hands temporarily and show us the ropes, but once things get serious, they disappear. We have to figure out how to get out of THEIR mess. Genuine people will not leave us sidetracked and will help us figure out whatever issue that presents itself.
Genuine friends or just genuine people in general, want to see us win. Whether it is with or without them! People that are deceptive, only want to see us win if they are getting a share in our success. If all fails, they are no longer available. But if we succeed, they’ll be the first one to try to take credit for it. (These are Lessons we must pay attention to). Deceiving people are there when the going gets good but genuine people remain with us through thick and thin.
All of us have been a victim of deception before. I know I have. It makes us feel stupid and naive. How can we possibly fall for something so dumb? Trust me, people with an agenda have been deceiving others waaaaaay before they got to us. They already know how they’re going to do something, when to do it, what they’ll say, etc. It has been practiced and implemented. Everyone is a trial and error when it comes to deceivers. Some of us catch on early and their plan fails. Some of us are oblivious and are finding out after the fact.
The way I know when someone is genuine, is determined by two factors. (This may not work for you but it might work for others). First, find out their relationship with God. Find out if they love God and how important God is to them. Surely, if they love God, they would want to do right by everyone. Treating everyone fairly and with love, is a priority. To me, this is a must have if I am thinking about getting into a serious relationship. However, friends who are unbelievers – are always welcomed. God did not turn away those who wanted to learn about the Gospel or were at least curious about it….. so why should I? I apologize if I offend any of you but this is one specific preference of mine.
Another factor – they are putting serious effort in trying to uplift me mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially, environmentally and/or psychologically. If they are a positive asset in all areas… Marry me? Please? Like now? If they are serious about helping me in any of the ways I mentioned above, I need them at my corner. That lets me know that they want to see me do and be better. If someone is more spiritual than I am or more emotionally stable than I am – that is a BONUS. That way, they can teach me how to reach that level.
My friends, I write all of this to help you grow. I will never try to deceive any of you because that is not my purpose. I thrive on helping people to discover their strengths and hopefully they teach others how to do the same. Please be mindful about deceivers and pay attention to their strategies. If any of you need conviction, I strongly advise you to pray to the Lord for discernment. God’s Existence. He will show you signs that we should pay attention to. (Roman 3:4 – Indeed, let God be true but every man a liar….) God will never deceive us, my friends. He will never lead us astray. (Deuteronomy 31:6 – Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them (enemies and evil forces), for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave nor forsake you).
As always, thank you friends for reading what my brain cooks up! You may leave questions, comments and/or suggestions if you so choose. God bless.
