There are lessons in life that either teaches us something valuable or make us reconsider our options. We either learn from our mistakes or repeat them because we choose to ignore warning signs/red flags. People may think that lessons that have embarrassing results are “L’s.” (L’s = losses). It’s normal to feel weird when people know of our mistakes. They will have their opinions about this or that. We hate to admit faults but minimize the scope of it by casually concluding it to be “L’s.” It sounds cooler that way. Lessons are always “W’s.” (wins).
It is necessary for us to cross paths with thousands of people. We will either make meaningful connections with other humans or meet those who will leave us vulnerable and susceptible to pain/heartbreak. In all of that, they are lessons nonetheless. For me, I do believe we are suppose to experience other people. In this life, we share our love with people temporarily and move on to the next. That is why people pop up and leave go as they please. Their purpose was complete in its entirety. Some may stay longer than expected or even till the end, but throughout that process, we are undergoing different emotions and learning what to expect/not expect from other people.
For an example….
If we are always attracting those who leave us in an emotional mess, we tend to question why we end up in the SAME situation. They say, “you are what you attract.” That depends. People WILL learn from their mistakes and direct their attention to people who seem genuine and mean well. People who have been hurt will come across other people that they know to be different than the rest. Why? Because they already know what to expect from people who DON’T mean well. So when they are in the midst of people who do not have the same toxic tendencies as their former partners/friends, they’ll know. It’s easy to tell.
They experience a positive and optimistic energy that they’ll be able to feed off on and incorporate that energy into their spirits. Therefore, the lessons that he or she were taught, were not L’s but W’s. Of course, it must’ve sucked to be in toxic environments with people in our inner circles but it helps enlighten us and make us aware of what to stay away from.
In Validations, I wrote about not seeking approvals from those who are not receiving of our feelings. If they are not concerned about our emotional state, there is no reason for us to bend over backwards to get their attention. It is just not worth it. That in itself is a lesson. Our pain, blessings, happiness, sadness, anger, betrayals, and the sins of the world/humans are all lessons. It is up to us to either internalize what we learn and use it to our advantage to avoid the same misfortunes or fall into the same traps.
Being mindful and attentive about the people we meet will keep us grounded. Even though we meet people who we wished stayed in our lives forever, that wasn’t the plan from the start anyways. Experiences only lasts for a moment in time and then we’re back to life again. Same with people. They come and go. Furthermore, things that do not work out, were never intended to by the Lord (Purpose in Life).
Friends and romantic partners. We’ve all been there. Specifically with relationships – the talking stage is always the most fun. We’re texting/talking all night, sending funny videos/memes back and forth, expressing our deepest fears, goals and aspirations, and nonstop daydreaming of what could be. He or she seems genuine and real. We feel so close to them. But then, the talking stage gets dry and the vibe is not there anymore. The convos seems forced and the other person is clearly not interested anymore. Furthermore, the person disappears from the face of the Earth – never to be heard from again. Then we’re left with starting from point zero but in the process, our trust and love decreases in humans because of what we experienced. Hits home?
Fast forward to the present day, I do not get hype when it comes to newfound relationships. In the back of my mind, I am expecting and embracing for them to exit stage left. Until I am proven otherwise, I will continue to be on my own path.
In Trust Issues, I wrote about a particular friend that made me feel some type of way. She was in bad shape in her relationship and I was not in support of it. She loved her boyfriend very much and in the end, she stopped talking to me because of my disapproval. That was months ago. Nevertheless, she taught me a valuable lesson about my honesty and straightforwardness. Most people do not like the truth and would cease communication with a genuine friend to continue in their toxicity.
Love is the strongest emotion ever so in a twisted way, I cannot really blame her. However, I know better than to speak my truth when people come to me in despair. I will be holding my tongue until the person is ready to hear me out. Even then, I might have to ease into it because hitting people with straight facts all at once will scare them away. That was my takeaway from that situation. Do you agree with my position?
Furthermore, going back to my hesitation in overly exciting myself with possible flings and such, I need to make sure the person is solid. We get caught up with what “could be” and I’m trying to see what it is. This is exactly what I wrote about in Risks of Dating “Potentials”. In that way, we know what to expect because we are aware of what they bring to the table.
In my case, people must prove that they have my best interest at heart. I don’t want to question their motives or think that they’re being less than truthful about something. I will cut off any ties if that is the case. There is no need in allowing myself to continue to be with someone that I am uncertain about. No thank you. Do not have the time. People conclude that as playing “hard to get” but that is not true. I just know my worth and I don’t want my time/effort messed with. Are you the same?
Conclusively, lessons are crucial in teaching us how to navigate in this physical existence. Whether they are good or bad, they have meanings to them. It’s up to us if we accept them or not. Going back to the same detrimental cycle that left us in terrible shape, is a mindset that will take some time to change. However, if we surround ourselves with genuine, supportive and loving individuals, progression within that process is certain.
To conclude, you may leave questions, comments and/or suggestions if you so choose. Thank for checking out this blog. God bless!
