Self respect reminds me a little bit about self worth. Not having self worth could be an indicator of underlying Insecurities. Allowing disrespect to go unchecked, the disrespect will continue. If we put a stop to disrespectful behaviors/statements, we have made known that those things will not be tolerated. If the person respects us enough to cease all things that we find distasteful, they are willing to work towards a common understanding. All will be well afterwards.
Self respect is about putting our foot down and not compromising our beliefs/morals to please the other party. Self respect is about knowing our worth and holding everyone accountable for their actions. It’s about the principle. Without respect in any given situation, our commitment to stick around any longer fades. We should be unwilling to sit around and allow people to talk crazy in our faces without consequence. For what? There has to be some boundaries in place to prevent them from crossing the line. Nowadays, especially in relationships, self respect has gone out the window for various reasons. Let me discuss a few scenarios.
(I briefly spoke about self worth and how some of us rely on others to make us feel special in 2020, and Validations. Be sure to check them out to see if you agree).
Cheating
For my viewers/subscribers who have read my blogs and are up to date, y’all know how I consistently write about relationships when it comes to life worries. (Love and Second Chances). To be able to work through a relationship that is riddled with cheating is either commendable or foolish. Depending on your perspective. On another note, I feel like someone’s self respect is tested when they are on the cheating end of a relationship. How they decide to move, dictates whether they know they deserve better or they’re fine with settling for less.
Even in marital affairs, the wife or husband sticks around for the sake of their kids. I mean, depending on your views/beliefs, that can go one way or another. To me, it is unhealthy to remain in a broken, toxic marriage for the sake of anyone. Yes, co-parenting is absolutely necessary to raise kids in a healthy and loving environment. However, there is no sensible reason to stay in a marriage with someone that violated their sacred vows. We should not allow our love to be played with for the sake of ANYONE. Including for our amazing kids. Our happiness is not a bargain.
Yes, people make mistakes and hopefully they learn from them. BUT, our self respect is not up for negotiation. If we trust someone to be loyal to us, then we expect that person to uphold that. Heck, that is the reason why we had enough confidence to place our trust within them in the first place. We felt that they would respect us to not violate our trust and/or love. There are mistakes that I believe there is no coming back from. Cheating… is one of them. If we take them back, who is to say that they will not do it again? The half hearted apologies and no change in behavior is a telling sign that it is time to call it quits.
Yes, it is very possible for the cheater to NOT cheat again BUT is the risk worth it? Is the risk of trying to work on the relationship again worth it? Having the possibility of MAYBE our hearts being broken again…. is it worth it? Hey, maybe we’ll find our happily ever after if we look past the betrayal and pain. My friends, if you are willing to take that risk, be my guest. Who am I to force you not to? I am simply just giving you a friendly warning so that you can consider your options.
I commend those who were/are madly in love with their romantic partners but walked away because the betrayal was too much to come back from. And those who were/are able to pick up the pieces of their broken hearts and walk away from the person they love(d) the most. That takes tremendous effort. THAT is when the self respect for oneself is coming back. THAT is when they put their foot down and look for happiness elsewhere. I can only imagine the emotions they felt throughout that whole ordeal. Thank you for finding your strength to walk away.
Life is too short to try to fix something that is irreparable. There are millions of others who are waiting to make us happy in this ever expanding world. But we’re worried about one slimy woman or man? No thank you. Let’s find our happiness before it is too late. Do not feel tied down in something that does not bring you joy. Especially in a relationship.
Yes, maybe we stay out of fear. Maybe we stay because we hope things will get better. Or maybe we have nowhere to go. I’m not knocking anyone down who are going through the scenarios I mentioned above. I’m just laying out possible explanations for staying. In the end, I pray that the strength to leave is found and the Lord protects us through whatever decision is made. I know it takes courage and I am acknowledging y’all for your tenacity :). I just want each and every one of us to be happy, that’s all.
Self Respect
Self respect is also about what we do before we get into a relationship. How we present ourselves and what we answer to.
For the time being, let’s take cat calling for an example.
First off, ew. That is not cute nor is it flattering. If we’re presenting ourselves as someone who is thirsty, that kind of vibe comes off as desperate. Not to mention classless. Anyone who gives the time of day to a catcaller, should stop. As a man or woman, we have to be approached accordingly. That is – presenting ourselves in a respectable manner or engaging in a cordial conversation. It is attractive when someone is charming. Now THAT is flattering.
Whistling to another person is a no no. What am I, a dog? I will never look their way. Coming up to me as a man or woman and introducing yourself will get my attention. Complimenting my smile or my style might also get you some bonus points. Not being too pushy about getting my number from the get-go is also a good way to go. Being a good conversationalist is an all around pat on the back!
But let’s not get it twisted. How we dress, does not warrant disrespect either. If we choose to wear tank tops, midriffs, shorts, dresses, sweats, suit and ties, etc., common courtesy should be extended to every single person. Everyone has their style and how they want to express themselves. We don’t know their business. Picking and choosing who to respect based on how they look is irrational. The least we can do is be civil with one another.
What do you think? Agree/disagree? Do you think it is a risk worth taking to make a relationship work after a cheating scandal? Is it possible to ever work past that kind of scandal? Can you still maintain self respect for yourself even by staying with someone who violated of trust and love? How would you define self respect? Are there other factors that determines self respect? Thank you for checking out this blog . God bless!
