This topic right here….. DEEEEEP. This discussion should not be taken lightly because our soul depends on it. It is often confusing when the unforgivable sin is brought up due to the different interpretations people have about the Bible. But after much reading and studying of the Bible, along with listening to other Pastors and their angles about this topic, I have reached a conclusive answer, or should I say answers, to what constitute as the unforgivable sin.
Before I begin, there was a time when I was confused about what constituted as the “unforgivable sin.” Heck, there was even a time I thought I already committed it and I felt SOO low and sorrowful. I felt irredeemable. Mentally, I was going insane. Emotionally, I was all over the place. It was frightening. It got to the point when I told God that I shouldn’t be saved (even if I miraculously was). I need to go to Hell – there is no point in asking for forgiveness. Fast forward, my mental state deteriorated AFTER I got saved. What led up to this point in time will be told in the future throughout this website. For now, let me explain what the unforgivable sin is and the mistakes people make when they believe that they’ve already committed the sin.
Backstory
On my 22nd birthday, I fasted and gave myself to the Lord. I specifically waited for this day because it will be more memorable for me if it was on my birthday. Also, 22 is a repeating number and it will be easier for me to remember when I became serious about the Lord (which I found pretty cool).
Unfortunately, I didn’t prep myself for the fasting (even though I should’ve). But before I made that decision on my birthday, I had a series of unfortunate events taking place in my life. One after another. I felt like I offended the Lord so I wanted to sincerely ask for His forgiveness. But I won’t get into much detail in this blog about what happened prior to my 22nd birthday.
Furthermore, that day was a blessing. All day it was God EVERYTHING. The Bible, my Pastor, spiritual videos, praying, my prayer book, repenting, confessing my sins and excessive crying. I felt the Holy Spirit move into my spirit – signaling the the good Lord forgave me. The feeling was intense heat all over my abdomen and it lasted for a LONG time. When it was happening, I was thinking it was because I haven’t eaten and my system was reacting to the emptiness. But this sensation was random and strong. Full force. It wasn’t as if I was expecting a feeling when I was fasting but this feeling was hard to ignore.
Ever since that day, these unfortunate events stopped. Good things and blessings started happening. I cannot make this up!!!
Don’t worry, my journey that got me here will be told throughout this website in various blog posts so it is up to my readers to connect the dots!
But beware, we shouldn’t rely on our feelings to confirm if we have the Holy Spirit or not. We should also take into consideration our faith in the process. Our feelings can be deceived because they can easily be manipulated. What we feel does not equate to what is experienced in reality. The devil orchestrates his plan around our emotions because our feelings can easily be misled and confused. That is why faith is important. Especially in the Lord. What we believe in cannot be fooled, even if it does waver because the Lord’s promises are written in His Bible and His teachings are timeless and imperishable.
For me, I wasn’t as knowledgeable about the Lord before this journey. Yes, I knew the basics about God and creationism but I wasn’t exposed as deeply as I am now. I wasn’t searching for a feeling. Heck, I didn’t know I had in me the Blessed Holy Spirit until I started thinking about that day and then I started to piece together what it meant to have Him (faith in the Lord and Savior). The feeling I had that day was undeniable so I concluded it to be the Holy Spirit because His Presence was intense and my body felt hot – like fire within me. To reiterate, the sensation that I felt from the Holy Spirit was enough for me to believe that He found a place within my spirit and that I was sincere in my efforts to repent and make the Lord my Saviour. I was not seeking to feel anything – it is what I experienced. I went into this spiritual journey naive and opened. Based on my faith and belief in Him and the experience I had, that confirmed it for me.
Furthermore, ever since my 22nd birthday, as I mentioned earlier, my mental/emotional state was BAD BAD. My thoughts were demonizing. I was blaspheming my Lord continuously – every second of everyday. It was uncontrollable. Nonstop. I didn’t know what was going on. It was a huge negative shift after everything that happened. I couldn’t go a day without thinking vile things about the Lord and cursing Him.
My friends, writing this is pitiful for me but it must be told.
I remember when I was in Church, the thoughts were DETESTABLE. MALEVOLENT. I couldn’t concentrate on the sermon because my mind was roaring with blasphemy. I think I left early because I couldn’t take it. Those thoughts were louder than ever before…. Initially, I thought if I can go to the House of the Lord, those thoughts will decrease and disappear altogether but I was sadly MISTAKEN. When I look back at it, I was being harassed mentally and emotionally by these unclean spirits (demons). There’s no questions about it! That wasn’t my doing but AT THE TIME, I thought it was me! There were random words that would trigger these unwanted thoughts and they were definitely attacks from these unclean spirits because of my newfound faith in the Lord.
The anguish I felt. Frustration. It was deeply troubling and distressing for me. To think that all of this came AFTER I was saved. It made me question if I was even saved at all. Was I deceiving myself? Why do I keep offending God? Do I even Love Him? My friends, I was soooo conflicted. At a point, when I was on my bed, I was speaking to the Lord, telling Him to let me go to Hell. I didn’t deserve Him. It is obvious I have something against Him. I couldn’t control these thoughts. I was crying bitterly. Writing this now is making me highly emotional. Those thoughts were pure evil and disturbing. Moreover, after I told the Lord I would much rather go to Hell, I wanted to take a nap to see if I could drown the thoughts.
The Lord didn’t let me.
I picked up my phone and started researching what my condition was. I knew I loved the Lord but my thoughts about Him were evil and repulsive. Why was I going crazy? Mind you, I NEVER went through anything like this before. This lasted for DAYS. My mom can attest to this because she knew the insanity of it all. I didn’t know how to put a name on it. I was reading stories about people suffering the same emotional/mental torment and I found out I wasn’t alone. Then I stumbled upon http://www.net-burst.net/. This website SAVED me from myself…. My sanity was nonexistent. This website slowly restored it. Instantly, after reading some of the blogs, I knew it wasn’t me conjuring up those blasphemous thoughts.
These nasty thoughts were fiery darts from demons. They were trying to break me down by torturously insulting me by insulting my Lord. For days, they made me think I hated God. Y’all….. When I say I thought I was going to Hell… http://www.net-burst.net/ DESERVES an award. The Lord made me come across this sensational website and because of that, I am forever thankful to the Lord and to the website. I knew I was not alone. People who were recently saved, were going through the same ordeal. Even worse. This was an attempt to knock me off my spiritual journey and to make me think that all that I did was fraudulent.
After some praying and giving thanks, lo and behold, those thoughts went away for a good week and a half – more or less. Then they came back stronger the following week. It is a fluctuation. A test to see if my spiritual foundation is still weak. I still suffer from these thoughts as a result of my walk with the good Lord and because my overly emotional conscience won’t let me catch a break. My desires to stop these thoughts proved futile and as long as I am trying to control these thoughts, they will never truly leave me. To reiterate – I have to rebuke them in the name of the Lord or ignore them altogether. My struggle is that I allow these thoughts to linger on more than necessary and I start feeling guilty and low that I still let them get me down. But they do not come as often anymore. Barely actually. Also, the severity has drastically decreased and they are more of a nuisance than anything else. My mind is restored 90%, I still have to relax it and not let it wander off too far.
I did not commit the unforgivable sin. I wish someone told me what I was getting myself into before I gave my life to the Lord. I should’ve done more research about walking with the Lord beforehand . The struggle is REAL. I could’ve prepared myself but I had to learn the hard way.
I had to tell you this story. I know there are many of us that had a similar experience as myself. I thought I committed the unforgivable sin and I was wrecked. People thinking cursing the Holy Ghost was the unforgivable sin. Mocking the Lord. Thinking blasphemous thoughts. No. They are not. Yes, they are highly uncomfortable but no. The Lord knows how weak the human mind is. To judge what goes in and out of it is useless. When we force ourselves to stop thinking about this or that. What do we think about? THIS OR THAT. And it gets stronger the more we resist. This is just how the mind works. Its feeble. Weak. Trying to control it is asking to fail.
The devil uncovered a weakness in my premature faith in the Lord and went in for the kill. My mind was a playing field for his wickedness. I hate him so much for making me go crazy and for making me think I will ever willingly insult or mock the Lord. He’s a pest. He’s bent on trying to knock us down when he sees that we are close to finding the light. He will remind us of our Sinful Nature. His Anger is full force when he loses control over our souls. His Greed for power is unmatched. Satan only has control over the unsaved, not the believers (saved). Once we find God, he loses that power. (FYI – Out of respect, this isn’t my attempt to try to stump on anyone’s religion, this is my belief in the Lord and what is written in the Bible).
Here It Is…
Murder. Rape. Pedophilia. Theft. Disrespecting our mom and dad. Lying. These are not unforgivable sins. Yes, they are sins but the Lord WILL forgive us if we are remorseful and repent of our sins. The Lord did not kill Cain when he murdered his brother Abel. Instead, the Lord banished Cain. Cain was fearful that people would kill him but the Lord imprinted a mark on his forehead to forbid anyone from killing him. If Cain was ever killed by anyone, the killer would’ve suffered SEVERE consequences. Or what about Adam and Eve? When they sinned and disobeyed the Lord, the Lord did not kill them. Instead, they were also banished. My friends, these were not the unforgivable sin. Yes, it is the first murder ever recorded in the Bible and in the history of mankind but it is not a death sentence. Yes, Adam and Eve both committed the first sin of the world and as a result, we all inherited a sinful body/nature but this was not the unforgivable sin.
Here we go. Part of the unpardonable sin is this… When the good Lord shows Himself to us, He is allowing us to see His goodness in a way that is hard to deny His existence. The Lord is working in our favor and blesses us with good things in an attempt to allow us to invite Him into our lives to make Him our Lord and Savior. Sometimes when we are at our lowest point, we feel a comforting presence that is hard to overlook. Even though we witness His goodness and see His glory, we are still adamant in our unbelief. We are still denying Him. In The Holy Trinity, I mentioned how our souls are lost when we refuse the Holy Spirit to come into our lives. We deny, deny and deny with all of our might. We live a Christ – rejecting life. After He leaves us alone, the chances for repentance is zero – especially if we already passed on.
Furthermore, if we are witnessing the Lord do incredible things in the lives of the people we care about and within our own and we are STILL believing He does not exist or we equate our success with something entirely different…. THAT is unacceptable. That is denying Him and stubbornly rejecting Him in our lives. If we make this grave mistake, it is scary. Having SUPERnatural things take place (things that cannot be explained or doesn’t occur naturally) and we SEE them and we PURPOSELY become ignorant to His presence, is an erroneous mistake.
To conclude that the blessings we have are based on external factors outside of the Lord Himself is a grave, grave error. People would much rather leave it up to “chance” or “luck.” That implies that the “Universe” has something to do with it but not God Himself. That implies that these blessings are “coincidences.” The Lord was not in control of that one. No no. The Pharisees in the Bible were adamant that Jesus Christ was NOT the Son of the Most High. They concluded that the enabling of His powers/miracles came from a demon rather than the Holy Spirit. To believe THAT – is the unpardonable sin. SO they were also implying that He was demon possessed. Point blank period. They were accusing Him of receiving His godly powers from wickedness. The worst insult ever.
In other words, to believe the devil is the reason behind the magnetic and forceful power of blessings and good things that happens to us spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and psychologically, is the unpardonable sin. To not believe that it is the Holy Spirit that is the One enabling us to perform spiritual miracles in the name of the Lord is the unforgivable sin. Conclusively, refusing to accept the Lord and continuously denying Him, is a terrible mistake. I cannot stress that enough.
Of course, there is hope! As always. A changed mindset. A change in belief (believing that Jesus is the only way to salvation and forgiveness). As a result, the individual is able to be redeemed by the Son of Man because there was a change in thoughts and spiritual ways. The blaspheming of the Spirit has stopped because now there is a change in belief and perspective so they can now seek forgiveness from the Son of Man. However, if we were to die in our unbelief while rejecting the Lord, hope of redemption and forgiveness is GONE. The Lord is unable to save our souls once we cross over to the afterlife. It is too late unfortunately. I could only imagine how awful anyone would feel to find out and witness that Hell is real and their fate is sealed in the bottomless pit FOREVER. It’s a TERRIFYING thought. In addition, I am not trying to step on anyone’s toes and push/force the Lord on certain people who are spiteful about Him, I am just informing those who care to listen and want a chance to redeem themselves with the Savior, the Son of the Living God.
Conclusion
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