Anger is a very intense emotion we feel when we are provoked beyond reason. All of our rational thinking and composure goes out the window. For those who are able to control themselves and not lash out negatively, I APPLAUD YOU. To be able to remain unfazed and to not let the comments of people affect you, is a skill I need to know how to acquire. But, for those of us who are full of emotions beyond our control, it’s hard to keep a level head. There are times when we act out of character and some things that are said, will be ingrained in the minds of those we hurt. Words are powerful and we reap what we sow.
However, letting people get under our skin, gives them an upper advantage that they don’t deserve. We need to be able to mask those emotions for our protection… and theirs. But how? Hmmmm… Let’s discuss.
When our pulse starts to race, we break a sweat, our face distorts and we say insulting words to others – we are beyond angry. It could be something that was wrongfully done to us. Or what we are told. And let’s not forget that there are people who LOVE to see us act out of character. They will intentionally say or do things that they know will cause a negative reaction from us. None of us are immune to that. There will be people who want us to act out because they want to see us lose. Our downfall is their amusement. People who want our position will do anything to make us embarrass ourselves in front of our boss and/or in general.
Sometimes we’re mature enough to not allow petty behaviors influence a negative reaction. We see right through those kind of people.
Other times, they caught us at a bad time/moment and we let them have it.
To be able to remain composed is exceptionally difficult when we have people who are blissfully ignorant or are trying to stir up drama. Patience becomes a necessity. Maturity also comes into play but it depends. Anger can be abrupt because it was boiling inside of us for a very long time. We managed to keep it underneath the surface (even though it is not recommended to do so). That type of anger, when it is suppressed for long periods of time, is highly damaging. One – our heart is full of hate. We are moody. Our thoughts are mostly negative. Two – we don’t know when that anger will be lashed out and who will be at the receiving end of it. Three – that anger can make us do things we will later regret. Our emotional and mental health suffers. My friends, do not let anger consume you.
Yes, it is easier than done. Trust me, I know what it is like to be angry. I’ve said some things that felt good at that moment but later on, I felt soooooo remorseful. Being a very emotional person, I feel emotions really intensely. Anger. Happiness. Sadness. You name it. However, maintaining my sanity and keeping negative emotions at bay is a learning process. I am learning my limits and intellectually playing out situations in my head that I know will not turn out good.
For example, we know who we should not argue with. We know who we shouldn’t be around longer than necessary because bumping heads is almost a certain outcome. Assessing these kind of scenarios will save us future headaches. We have to be calculative. People know how to push our buttons so remaining silent when it happens, should be one of our priorities. If we feel like a conversation/debate is going left, we must end it before it gets too far. (May the Lord bless me with that skill, amen). We all have a smart mouth and when activated, it’s hard to turn off. The thought of people thinking they can say this or that without us retaliating, motivates us to keep entertaining the angry insults. We’ve all been there! It takes more to keep quiet than engage in nonsense.
Anger can stem from personal experiences that are detestable to speak of (what I mean by detestable is the experience, not speaking your truth). Sexual assault. Honestly, I cannot fault whoever is still angry due to what took place that abominable day. Or maybe it is still taking place right now. I’m so sorry. Genuinely sorry. If hating people makes some of us feel slightly better, that is one way that we cope with trauma. Love can become hard to come by when we cannot see past our rage. Understandably so. Then we start to question God’s Existence because of what we went through. It is complete turmoil. Emotional, mental, physical, spiritual and psychological turmoil.
Anger is a natural reaction. But please do not let anger eat you alive. Please. For your health – do not let it consume you. You’ll let those freaks of nature win if you allow them to still have power over you. For your wellbeing, seek counseling and reclaim your life/identity by participating in uplifting activities. You are stronger than you think. I believe it is possible to reclaim your power from anger in the end. It will bring you peace and your conscious will be free. But it’s a struggle. Any improvement is commendable!!! Any effort is praiseworthy!! Anger does not define us. How we answer to anger – does. Furthermore, if I offended any of you by what was mentioned in this paragraph or previous ones – my apologies. Speaking on tough topics are things I have to expect to do when I write.
Story Time
Well it isn’t really a story but it is a description of what anger does to me. When I’m angry, I get pessimistic. Not so much about myself but about anyone who angered me. My mind is always on overdrive so I start saying things in my head that I know I should not say out loud because if they were ever spoken, the other person will surely feel disrespected. And they’re not evil in nature but they are things that I know I am safe in my thoughts to say. Me vocalizing what I truly want to say is restrained (until further notice) out of respect for the person who got me upset. I still have issues in containing my anger verbally because all rationale is out the window when people willingly and intentionally provoke me. I hate giving in (because that is what they want you to do) but sometimes I cannot resist the urge to put someone in their place. That is one thing that I seriously have to work on. I am pretty sure, as I mature, it will get easier with time to keep my composure. But thankfully, I am not the type to hold grudges for long. I get over things rather quickly but during that time, when it is just recent that someone got me upset, that is when the talking to myself about that person sets in. I guess it’s therapeutic in a sense because it helps me get over the issue before I let it linger on for necessary.
Conclusion
Switching gears, there is that kind of anger that we use to push us to succeed. We get riled up in a competition or wanting to finish at the top of our school/career. We want the opportunity to laugh in the face of naysayers who were saying that we’ll never make it. That anger we initially felt, is used as encouragement to prove our doubters wrong! They hate to see it! Thinking we’re not good enough is a mindset we ought to change. Never let anyone tell you that you’re incapable of achieving your dreams and aspirations. Especially if we have God on our side, EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE. We’re all winners. Whether we think so or not. That “good anger” is always a good booster to go further. Do not settle my friends. (Self Respect). Be persistent. The possibilities are endless!
Thank you for checking out this blog. I appreciate it. You may leave questions, comments and/or suggestions if you so choose. God bless.
