Don’t we all hate criticism? I mean, to have someone blatantly denounce our efforts and dismantle our confidence in a mean way, makes us not want to attempt a certain project again. Criticism shouldn’t be applied in a disrespectful manner and critical, negative comments shouldn’t be all that we hear. A congratulatory recognition of our hard work doesn’t kill anybody?! It’s annoying hearing people criticize but never applaud us for the hard work and determination we put into an assignment. Because of that, we don’t want to hear their opinions. Criticizers never seem to be pleased by anything. As a result, people cannot take corrections because they feel that these naysayers are purposely finding fault in their work… Let’s dive in, shall we?
Side note – If you haven’t already, please check out my latest post Genuine or Deceptive. There, I discuss the signs that are genuine and signs that are undeniably deceiving. Being able to identify these signs takes discernment because people are good at covering up their conniving plans. Anyways, back to the topic of criticism!
Constructive criticism… We hear it all the time. Yes, constructive criticism can be helpful when it comes to assisting others in perfecting their craft. But, if it is only based on pointing out the negatives, it becomes discouraging. I believe constructive criticism should also commend strategies that look promising in a project while also pointing out areas that need fixing. It is a combination of critiquing and praising. Critics must keep in mind or should be aware of how encouraging and/or depressing their words are. Constructive criticism should be helpful and produce beneficial results when done correctly.
Tough Love
Tough love falls into a subcategory of criticism. Parents are sometimes very overbearing and overly critical when it comes to raising their kids. Yes, we want the best for our kids but ALWAYS nitpicking on what they’re doing wrong is not right. Kids love nothing more than to hear that their parents are proud of them. Even when they fail miserably in a project or lose in a competition, parents should praise their kids for their efforts. “We’ll get em’ next time.” Also, that could be a bonding moment for the Mom/Dad. Helping fix or implement something different in the technique that the youngsters are using in their execution speaks volumes. That kind of bond will make the youngin’ appreciative and it’s a great way for the father/mother to be active participants in their lives.
Tough love can be a catalyst in making a “perfectionist” son/daughter. They’ll do anything to not fail and succeeding is their ONLY focus. However, that can be mentally and emotionally draining. Trying to be “perfect” is impossible. Something is bound to go wrong, even if we are taking preventive measures. It is just life. Expect the unexpected. Perfectionists don’t. They stick with the protocol/script and focus on making sure everything is right on schedule. That is stressful in and of itself.
My friends, failing is not the end of the world. It’s a teaching moment. Lessons. Don’t be afraid to hit a roadblock. It will eventually happen one way or another. The next course of action is to either fix the issue(s) or try a new method. Tough love brings about a sense to be perfect because we fear that we’ll disappoint those that we want to impress the most. We’re too hard on ourselves. Life is unpredictable. There is no solid plan that goes right EVERY single time. Maybe tough love does make us stronger in areas that we are weak in. Sometimes it doesn’t. We have to be cautious in how we critique others. Some people cannot handle it because they’ve been constantly told that they’re doing something wrong all their lives.
We’re also critical when it comes to relationships. We want our partner to surpass our expectations every time. We nitpick on their flaws, in hopes of them “fixing” their imperfections. Or even before we get into a relationship, our standards are set high. Having self worth/Self Respect makes us do that (which is a good thing). If people think that our standards are too high, then it is obvious that they know they will not make the cut. Standards are meant to weed out the good ones from the bad. If someone meets our standards, then they are suitable partners because they passed our tests. But, having standards that even WE OURSELVES cannot pass, is a no.
Our standards must reflect our morals and we must be able to pass them with flying colors. Heck, that is why we set them up in the first place! Because we know what we’re capable of and what we are not. Our standards shouldn’t be too high if we cannot successfully pass them ourselves. If we’re in the market for a relationship, we shouldn’t have to go against our morals or settle for less. If we’re already in a relationship, criticizing our partners for minor mistakes shouldn’t be a common occurrence. That might strain the relationship. We should also praise our partner in the things they do. I mean, that is why we are with them in the first place. We enjoy their company and we see something in their character. So, being overly critical in a relationship will make it fall apart quicker than expected.
Be mindful about those who criticize us whenever they get the chance. Stop going to them for their take on something. They’ll make you regret asking them in the first place. They’ll make us lose interest in the project after a while, if they are pointing out only the mistakes that they THINK are there. Those who are considerate in their critiquing include possible errors, concerns, and promising aspects within the project(s), are criticisms we should uphold. They see the potential of it despite errors while at the same time, confirming the good that is being done. That makes us feel like we’re on the right track. But sometimes we do need the hard truth about a project that might not be successful in the future. I think that kind of wake up call should be done by a professional in the field of your work, rather from an average onlooker. But hey, this is just my opinion (as always).
Furthermore, taking chances on a project that others deem insufficient, is a risk anyone should be willing to take. I mean let’s take Steve Jobs or Bill Gates for an example. They’ve accomplished what others thought would fail miserably. My friends, we’ll never know….. Unless we take that chance. If you have the time, effort, dedication, money and resources, I say go for it! You’ll never know! Just don’t go bankrupt or depressed throughout the process!
Conclusion
Conclusively, criticism should be taken lightly if they come from people with no knowledge of what we’re doing. Also, if criticism is coming from people who never contributed to our basic/required needs of attaining a goal of some sort, their insults should be ignored and/or laughed at because they have no right to critique us about something when they have never offered to help out in any way. They always have the most to say but they do the LEAST possible of supporting and/or helping us out with our goals and aspirations. People like that irk me. (Check out Little Kids at Heart for more information). Criticism should be more helpful than discouraging. However, the choice is ultimately yours. Only you can determine whether a project is worth completing or not. Getting the input of others can steer us in the right direction…. Or not. It depends on you, my friends.
Thank you for reading and for checking out my website. You may leave questions, comments and/or suggestions if you so choose. God bless.
