What does the phrase “completeness of a person” mean? What do you think completes a person? Why?
My main focus today is addressing the idea of people thinking they need someone to “complete them.” I think the concept of needing someone to fill in the empty void felt, can be damaging in the long run. Now I know there are attachment issues, that stems from childhood upbringings. Growing attach to others might make us believe that we need romantic partners, friends, family, and/or colleagues to “complete us.” Please resist the urge to conclude that we are nothing without so and so. You are wholesome and complete within yourself. Reliance and dependency will surely make us feel weak to ever branch out from underneath people who are dear to us and explore life without feeling lost and/or afraid.
Insecurities makes us feel out of place so we latch on to others to “complete” us. Truth of the matter is – people can and will disappoint us. It is life. There is no escaping that. Heck, I even disappoint myself sometimes! Granted, our expectations may be higher than others. But that’s because settling for less is a no no.
It’s nice to be able to feel like we have found our “soulmate” and we’re in a state of bliss for a while. Then some of us begin to the cracks/red flags in the relationship. We are uncovering their true intentions. The results are startling. We lose hope in love and in people. It hurts doesn’t it? Now, I’m not speaking from experience because I have never been in love before… yet. Thank God. But, I do have close acquaintances who suffered or are suffering nasty breakups and their wounds are open to the core. They tell me these sad stories and I can see and hear the pain in their eyes and voice. They all thought they found the one. Now they are back to feeling “dead” inside.
Fellow brothers and sisters, I want you to find yourself FIRST before anything else. Be satisfied with who YOU are. Do not go around trying to find someone to complete you. The devastation can be too great to bear after all is said and done. Of course, we might be down for a while but to sink to total despair over a person we thought was the one is troubling. Obviously it was not meant to be my friend. You did not need them in your life. (I go into details in Brokenness).
On another note, there are people who are conniving and manipulative. They know how to sweet talk us and get our attention. They tell us all these great things they can do for us – things people want to hear. We start thinking, “Damn, he/she might be on to something. Let me explore.” We get pulled in. They wait for us to be so sprung on them and that’s when they move in for the kill. Now that they have us wrapped around their fingers, they can control how we feel or tell us how we should feel. They will make us feel like we “need” them. My friends, be cautious of people who play around with your feelings to their advantage. We become so invested in other people, that we lose ourselves in the process. We become a shell of our former selves.
Our self worth is important. Without it, people can dictate how we feel, what we should do, how we should do it, etc. Our self worth should not be totally dependent on how our significant other makes us feel. On another note, be weary of those who throw everything they have done for you in your face. They normally do that when they see that your growth is steadily coming in. Once you’re able to have confidence in yourself, they are stressing that maybe you’ll discover how less you were settling for. Then they make us feel guilty for attempting to find our self worth. BEWARE! No one should ever make you feel bad for glowing up. If it makes you feel positive about yourself, real and genuine people will support you.
Furthermore, God will never disappoint you. Your trust in Him is well placed because He loves you. As opposed to Him, we are flawed human beings, so that makes us destined to fall short of expressing true, nontoxic love. God is perfect in every way so it is impossible for Him to stumble in His love for us. Of course, this is me speaking from personal experiences.
Have you ever had good things happen to you unexpectedly and it made you grateful? Like maybe being saved from an accident that could’ve killed you? A bullet that barely missed your head/body? Leaving a toxic relationship because the red signs were visible early on? Having a gut feeling that maybe I should avoid this place and take another path? (Just to find out later that day on the news something terrible happened around that location the same time you were around the area). There is no doubt in my mind that God speaks/protects us from the dangers we face on a daily basis. (I go into greater details in God’s Existence and Gut Instinct).
Have you ever wanted to speak to someone about something that was bothering you? You couldn’t trust anyone with what is upsetting you because they might judge you or they might offer some bad recommendations? I speak to God about my internal issues. I kid you not, my spirit feels lifted when I do. My anxiety drastically decreases. I’m not stressing over the issue that much anymore. Have you ever felt like that before? Isn’t that a good feeling? It truly is! Cast all of your worries and fears onto the mighty Lord and He’ll take care of the rest! I promise. People might offer a fix but it does not last too long. All I’m saying is, do not have complete trust and dependency on human beings. People can be shady. Do not fall for it. Learn to love yourself first and trust God will help you find the right one. The one that is rightfully suited for your physical life. Do not go based off of YOUR timing. Good things come to those who wait. If you want to find a husband/wife, please do not rush it. Let God show you the warning signs or the approval and make your decision based on what was revealed to you.
God really does have our best interest at heart. That is why He died for our sins so that we may have everlasting life in/with Him. He sacrificed Himself because of His love for us. On top of that, when we are able to make it home safely every night from work/an event, that is a blessing in and of itself. Numerous of things could’ve gone wrong but didn’t. I have been in situations that could’ve gone left, REAL QUICK.
Conclusively, the moral of the story is find/love yourself FIRST before anything else. When you do, you will not settle for less or be taken advantage of. Also, look to God and He’ll take care of the rest. Your life will get better in no time.
You may leave your thought, questions, and/or opinions if you want to. Thanks for reading and God bless!
