What does growth means to you? What must one do to experience such a revitalizing feeling? What must be sacrificed in order to achieve and reach that newfound freedom?
Hello readers. My apologies for not being consistent with updating my website like I used to in the past. As always, life gets in the way and sometimes we lose track of what is important to us. Other times, motivation is lacking. But anyways, back to the topic at hand. To me, growth is about being transparent and honest with oneself. Being able to sit in one’s emotions, no matter how painful they can be, and allow oneself to feel what they’ve been suppressing for far too long. If we’re unable to grasp the reality of our situation of how someone or something made us feel, we will never truly get to the bottom of why we are feeling a certain way. Growth is about reanalyzing our priorities and sorting out the pieces that doesn’t seem to fit anymore and are causing more trouble than peace. Of course, reassessments of this nature are difficult to ponder about and go through with because finding peace and tranquility, often means cutting out toxicity. And by toxicity, that means cutting out people that we love the most. Even throughout that process, the lingering question will be, “Did I make the right decision?” It is up to us to determine how much we are willing to endure and if we are able to take the consequences that comes with it.
Mental Growth
Mental growth is evolving and elevating into a better, more refined version of what we used to be. Mental growth is exploiting our weaknesses and using that as key motivators to uplift and strengthen us in the future. We are molded by our pain, for better or worse, and it is imperative that we do not lose sight of how it affects us. Our pain will be the deciding factor of whether it keeps us stagnant and closed off from getting out of our ways or it can be the force that breaks us through our little bubble that we were so comfortable in because taking chances/risks didn’t seem like a logical choice to begin with. Mental growth is about changing how our minds work. It’s about how we look at certain instances that we used to run away from because we were mentally weak to take up the challenge. The doubts overshadowed the confidence we should have in ourselves but we are too busy worrying about what could go wrong and how we can mitigate the outcome to the best of our abilities. Always focusing on the what ifs, ands/or buts, we prevent ourselves from living in the moment. We rob ourselves from being present in our lives because we are apprehensive about not being able to pull ourselves up from Disappointment, betrayal, and failure. We are worried that all of our hard work will go to utter and complete waste and that is a tough pill to swallow for any one of us. Mental growth is not allowing things we cannot control, get in the way of making the most out of the short time we have on this Earth. We must take a step back once in a while and cherish how courageous we were/are in the face of adversity and struggle. And we also must come to terms with the fact that there will be people, who hate to see us win for whatever reason, who will throw back in our face all of our shortcomings, failures, and past mistakes to keep us down and defeated. When that time comes, that is when the true test begins. For me, the very people who remind us of things we would like to forget, are the same ones we consider “family.” Whenever the opportunity presents itself or whenever it is convenient for them to prove a point at our expense, they will not hesitate to unleash what they’ve bottled in for so long. That to me is cowardice. They are afraid to look at themselves to sort out their personal issues but they are first in line and so quick to point out our flaws. People like that relish in the fact that they think there are people worse than them and they eat it up. They eat and lick the plate clean. But that is when your mental growth comes into play. You know their tactics. You know their techniques. You know they love to push your buttons and get you acting out of character. When we allow people to have control over our emotions, we’ve lost all control. We are at their mercy because whenever they feel like it, they can cause a riot and we’ll be there acting a fool…. for their amusement.
That stops now.
We are mature, bigger, and better. We are focused on the bigger picture. We are here for a divine purpose. Distractions will always be there but we have to push through the noise and come out alive and stronger on the other end. Yes, it is extremely difficult taking the higher route because we all want to check/correct those who think that we are too weak to retaliate. And at times, our emotions will play out, whether we want them to or not. But in the end, we have to take that L and try harder the next time around. For me, my impulsivity can be very overwhelming. I act on emotions quickly. Whether good or bad. My family will be the first ones to point this out for sure. However, I know that this is a flaw of mine. An imperfection that has caused people pain because my words/actions can be and/or are disrespectful. I always think about what I’ve said or done as a reaction to something I found offensive. I do not want to play the victim because I am not. However, there are triggering words/actions that has caused me to erupt in anger immediately. I take responsibility for allowing people to ever have that much control in making me lash out bitterly and resentfully. Its a shame to be honest. I don’t want to say things I will later regret nor do I want to be the cause of someone’s sadness because I too hurt the same way. Of course, I’ve held my tongue in some instances where I could’ve done damage but I have to hold my tongue in ALL instances that gives negativity a voice. I have learned to love from a distance because I do not want to keep continuing that debilitating cycle. In this department, I have some growing up to do for sure. Once I master my emotions and keep them in check, I will then know that I am evolving and becoming the woman I should be. A woman I can be proud of. That is what mental growth is about. Seeing your weaknesses and acknowledging that they do exist and finding a possible solution that will encourage you to be and do better.
Spiritual Growth
My favorite. I think this is also lacking most of all when it comes to the different aspects of peoples’ wellbeing. Spiritual growth is about seeking the Divine Creator in ways that is genuine and earnest. It is about doing the research to truly understand who the Creator of the Universe is. It is about being open to the possibilities of what could be discovered if we allow ourselves to sit down and marinate on why the Lord is who He is and His promises. It is also about why are we here? What is my purpose? Spiritual growth is about being in tune with Jesus Christ, the Lord and Savior, and acknowledging that He is the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. Now I know some of you who are reading this may find this upsetting or a bunch of nonsense, but that is expected. I do not expect everyone to understand my faith or why I feel the way I feel. I do not expect some of you to believe in Him the same way that I do. I can only speak from my experiences and what I believe. For me, I would not have gotten this far if it wasn’t for the Most High and His graceful nature. The many blessings that He has bestowed upon my family, friends, and myself are all deeply appreciated because I know that some of those blessings were undeserving. Spiritual growth to me is about putting aside one’s ego and pride and really humbling oneself when it comes to God. We are all sinful people because of our Sinful Nature and with that, comes this cocky, conceited personality that gets us thinking we don’t need anyone to achieve this or to be that. I can do bad all by myself. We lose ourselves in our fame, riches, our careers, etc. We are so involved in pleasing the flesh, however that may look like, that we are so disconnected from our spiritual side. We forget that we all will be judged one day and that this short, physical life will be over when it is time. We cannot party forever. We cannot be oblivious to the fact that the way we live our lives, the way we treat other people, and our relationship with God, will be a testament of who we are as individuals. If we are satisfied with how our spiritual life is at this current moment, we are not fighting or trying hard enough. Improving our relationship with God is a continuous and devoted process. Wanting to connect with Him and keep Him involved in our day to day is a must. We must remind ourselves that God should be made a priority because the only reason why you and I are still here is because the Lord decided to let us live another day. We have not fulfilled why we are here on this Earth. I know that this message is coming on a little too strong but I am being real and direct. Spiritual warfare is real. Evil is real. Demons are everywhere. If our spiritual foundation is weak and unstable, we allow these uncleaned creatures to have a foothold in our lives. We allow them to negatively influence how we operate.
I’ll be the first to admit that my God days of being incessantly devoted to Him has decreased in the last few months. I have been distracted. Lazy. Busy with life. I am not proud of it. I have allowed myself to become too comfortable with what I’ve done for the Lord already. And I do not mean that in a bragging way, as if I earned my rights to slow down because of I’m owed that much. I’ve told myself numerous of times, “The Lord knows my heart. He knows that I love Him.” While that is true, I have to still make and find time to cherish Him as my Lord because He is truly deserving of such praise. Thinking it is not enough. Spiritual growth is realizing where we fall short and allowing God to move in our lives and make us remember why He is God and why we should let Him mold us to be the person He has destined for us to be. I want to ignite that fire I had and I still have for the Lord but I have not been able to really allow myself the opportunity to do so. People who have been in my shoes, know what I am talking about. The start of a spiritual journey is so overpowering and consuming that we are in awe by what we find out when it comes to God and the spiritual realm. It is all we think, read and talk about. Then when we get used to the greatness of it all, it becomes a normal thing that is a part of us. Learning, reading and watching anything that is God related should always be exciting and enriching. And it is. But for me, I have to be in that headspace to be fully involved and not just superficially. I want to be all in during the time of day that I do dedicate a portion of my time to the Lord. If I am half interested, that will not work for me. So with what I am currently doing in life and my spiritual side, I have to find a balance and they must co-exist because that is the least I can do for the Lord. I will find my way back to how it used to be because the Lord is with me and He is always in the back of my mind. Always.
So all in all, spiritual growth is finding our way back to Him, without ceasing effort. It’s about showing love to other people as well. Being that helping hand, that shoulder to cry on, that listening ear for those who do not have someone to turn to. It’s about showcasing the goodness of the Lord by also leading by example. Showing people that there are good people in this world because God is good. But for some of us, it is too late. We have become so desensitized to how the world is, that we do not try to help others or even ourselves. Some of us do not see the point in doing so because of how evil people can be. We’re closed off. Selfish. Prideful. We’ve been hurt, destroyed, betrayed, abandoned, humiliated, etc.
“If there is such thing as a God, why does He allow the world to be the way it is?”
The answer is not simple. This question is annoyingly asked every single time when things go astray or when inconveniences are apparent in our lives. Life is not peaches and cream. It is not always going to be pretty. We are not always going to see good days. If that were true, death and sin would not exist. But they do. For now. I can go on and on and answer this question in so many ways but you’ll find answers throughout my blog posts if you are willing to read each and every single word that has been written. To foolishly put the blame entirely on God is insane. But I digress. Check out God’s Existence for more insight.
Emotional Growth
I think emotional growth goes hand in hand with spiritual growth. We all know how strong our emotions can be when its comes to various situations that plays out in our lives but how we handles ourselves in them, can be how we grow spiritually. The Holy Spirit gives us a self-control and peace. The Lord gives us a sound mind. If we are constantly on the fence and fighting with everyone who calls us a bad name/word, we are emotionally weak. We do not know how to keep our emotions at bay. Of course, for those who are emotionally stoic, not acting out of character is simple to achieve. Kudos to you. Me and others like myself who are short tempered, we have a little shaping up to do. Now this is not to say I am always on 100 from the get-go. I am also laid back and I have moments when reacting negatively is beneath me. As mentioned above, learning how to hold my tongue will be the true testament of my growth as a person and it is a working progress everyday. No one is perfect. Even when we are at our highest moments, we can fall from grace at any time. It is inevitable. But how we react to the challenge is what will be remembered. We must remember that there are better days to come because we’ve seen better days. I, for one, better days will always come because I know my Lord and He is good. What He has done for me will NEVER be discounted or forgotten so that keeps me going because bad days are temporary.
Emotional growth is being vulnerable. It is about being open about our feelings and sharing our deepest emotions with the people we love. Walking around acting as if nothing fazes us is unrealistic. The cracks will start to show and when they do, that is when we fall apart. We’ve had this wall up for so long, we forgot how it feels like to let people in. We forgot how it feels like to let go and be true to ourselves. Our pain will never subside if we keep pushing it away. Emotional growth is about standing tall in our pain and finding the strength to share our stories with those who may relate or those who are willing to listen. It is about admitting that we were hurt and growing from it. It is about picking and choosing our battles. It is about fighting for the people we love.
Often times, men think showing emotion is a “woman thing.” It’s a simp move. That kind of mentality is toxic because when men try to correct that and finally appreciate their woman, it is often too late and the woman rightfully finds another man who is willing to treat her like a queen and shower her with love and affection publicly and privately. I’ve seen it done TIME and TIME again. It is very sad to say the least. Being emotionally available and open is never just a “woman thing.” It’s a human thing. Let us not allow society to dictate how a man should behave when it comes to how they should express themselves emotionally. Hashing things out with our beloveds will only help the relationship grow stronger because everything is finally laid out on the table instead of the bitterness just festering from underneath the surface.
Financial Growth
Financial growth is about coming into some moolah. It is about being financially independent and having some change to spare after all of our expenses are paid for (for the month). Financial growth is about being smart with our finances and building wealth not only for ourselves but for our families and kids. But we don’t even have to be an entrepreneur or a millionaire to experience financial growth. If we are in a better place financially than we were a few months ago, that is a commendable progress. That is applaudable. Even if we are working that minimum wage paying job, we are still able to support ourselves the best way we know how. Financial growth doesn’t happen overnight and it take time, money, risks, and networking to truly expand on what has already been made. All in all, financial growth is about being wise with money and not just spending it because we have it. Splurging on expensive materialistic things can be fun but only if it adds any value to who you are. If it is just to show off that you can afford it, then that to me is not financial growth. It’s stupidity. But then again, we live in an era where viral moments are what people live for nowadays. Flashing money and showing out with the latest cars and houses for instagram is where people determine their self-worth. It’s unfortunate but my generation takes the cake on that one. But to each their own, do what makes you happy in the end :).
Psychological Growth/Conclusion
Psychologically, I cannot professionally speak about this because I am no expert in this field. I do not want to put out false information without having evidence to back it up. However, if I can offer my two cents, I do believe it is about seeking help if one is in a state of mind that is deteriorating faster than a speeding bullet. If there has been a shift in personality or behavior starts becoming more unpredictable or erratic, I do believe the best thing to do is seek help psychologically. I also believe seeking helps should not be shunned or stigmatized because that is not fair for those genuinely need someone to speak to. The growth comes in when we acknowledge we have a problem and find ways to better ourselves. That is all I will say.
Conclusively, I touched on all the points I wanted to for this blog post (with the exception of environmental growth, which will be included later down the line). If you have any questions, comments, suggestions and/or rebuttals to what has been written, please do not hesitate to comment. Thank you and God bless.
